Getting Yourself in a Good Place for a Relationship (Romantic or Platonic)
Before jumping into any relationship—whether it’s a new friendship or a romantic connection—it’s important to check in with yourself first. Being in a healthy place mentally and emotionally helps you build stronger, more respectful, and more meaningful relationships with others.
Here are some key things to think about before starting or deepening a relationship:
Know Who You Are
Understanding yourself is the first step toward any healthy connection. Ask yourself:
– What do I value in a friend or partner?
– What are my goals and interests?
– What makes me feel happy, supported, or safe?
When you know what matters to you, it’s easier to recognize whether someone aligns with that—or doesn’t.
Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
Boundaries are what help you protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. Whether it’s needing space, privacy, or just time to recharge, your boundaries are valid.
Examples of boundaries:
– “I don’t respond to texts late at night.”
– “I need time to focus on school and can’t always hang out.”
– “I don’t feel comfortable talking about that.”
Respecting your own boundaries—and others’—is key to any healthy relationship.
Practice Clear Communication
Say what you mean and listen when others talk. Good communication helps avoid confusion and keeps relationships from becoming one-sided or stressful.
Tips for better communication:
– Be honest (but kind).
– Use “I” statements (“I feel hurt when…”).
– Listen without interrupting or judging.
Take Care of Your Own Mental Health
You don’t have to be perfect to be in a relationship, but it helps to be aware of your own emotional needs. If you’re dealing with stress, anxiety, or past hurt, working through those things—on your own or with support—can help you show up better for yourself and others.
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s actually one of the most loving things you can do for your relationships.
Look for Green and Red Flags
Pay attention to how someone treats you and others.
Green Flags:
– They support your goals.
– They respect your boundaries.
– You feel safe and accepted around them.
Red Flags:
– They pressure you into things.
– They don’t respect your space or opinions.
– They make you feel bad about yourself.
Remember: You’re Whole on Your Own
Relationships should add to your life, not complete it. You don’t need someone else to “fix” or define you. Being okay on your own means you’re more likely to attract healthy, genuine connections—because you’re not trying to fill a void, you’re just sharing your awesome self with someone else.
Whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, being in a good place emotionally makes a huge difference. You deserve to feel seen, respected, and safe in every connection you have. Focus on being the best version of you—and the right people will find their way into your life.
If you ever feel unsure about a relationship, talk to a trusted adult, friend, or school counselor. You’re never alone—and your well-being always matters.
